Jealousy: Life, Advice and Rants

Jealousy is one of the worst emotions most people will experience in their life time. It can pull apart any relationship, whether it be romantic, a friendship or even within family. Jealousy puts people that experience it down, and damages their self worth and esteem. As writer Elizabeth Bowen wrote 'jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies.' Jealousy isn't something we have much control over. In truth, it is a natural instinctive emotion that almost everyone experiences. It can bring out the worst in people, you can see sides of yourself you never knew existed and can possible change others opinions of yourself. 

One thing we need to clarify is the difference between jealousy and envy. Jealous is worrying of losing something you already have whereas envy is wanting what someone else has. I find jealous to be the worst of the two. Jealousy seeks to prevent loss, having some of the best things in your life swiftly taken away is a harder blow then not experiencing something you never had. 

Jealous behaviour is often stereotyped to females, the crazy ex-girlfriend is a widely used interpretation of the emotion. According to many psychologists, woman are inclined to be jealous more often simply because they tend to be more honest and in touch with their emotions compare to males. However, the triggers of jealousy are more or less the same for both genders. 

The effect jealously has on the person experiencing it can completely alter their personality. Though only temporary it can further damage other relationships, not just the one you are jealous in. Insecurities start to arise as well as complete removal of any self worth and lowered confidence of yourself. 

So why talk about it? Recently in my own life I have been dealing with situations of becoming jealous myself however, I am beginning to realise it was never worth my time. It is a bitter emotion that controls lives, we must be confident in ourselves and what we are truly worth. If you fear of losing some or have lost some one then think, if they sway so easily are they the right person to be in your life? You need the people who you are confident that whatever obstacles you experience within your relationship won't cause that relationship to end. 

Jealousy often comes from comparison to other, we must learn the only person you should compare yourself to is you. Work on out doing your previous achievements instead of worry, for example, how your sibling is doing. A healthier thinking process and higher confidence in yourself will lower your chance of becoming jealous.

Though a feeling many of us wish we lived without, it plays apart in all of our lives whether we are jealous or others are jealous of us. We must grow from it instead of allowing it to ruin relationships we enjoy and want to continue to be a part of. Never doubt your worth because someone will always stay by your side whatever gets in your way.