Mental health effects a lot of young people, much more than most people realise. Over the last few years there has been an increase in diagnosis of mental health disorders across the younger population, the most common being depression, anxiety, eating disorders and attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Surveys show that 1 of of 10 young people have a mental health disorder, and that’s just those who have been diagnosed. If you’re young, chances are you know someone affected by some sort of mental health disorder.
So what can you do? Chances are, you aren’t a trained psychologist. Helping out your friends may not so easy. If a friend trusts you enough to share that personal information with you, then you may feel obliged to help or sympathise with something that’s hard to understand. How can you help easily?
1. If they're willing, talk to them about it!
This helps because not only does it show that you're interested and actually care about your friend, but it is also the best way of finding out information about their illness. Everyones mental health is personal to them, and mental health disorders affect individuals differently. The only way to know, is to ask!
2. Respect their wishes.
If someone doesn't want to do or talk about something, understand that it’s probably a sensitive subject and not at all personal. Also if they are being somewhat over dramatic or clingy, it’s likely to be due to the illness. Put up with it for their sake.
3. Give them space.
It’s important to know when to leave people alone. Sometimes they might just be having a bad day, and need some time alone for themselves. If they come off as rude or cold, it’s probably not intentional. Sometimes they just need a little bit of downtime to recharge their social batteries.
4. Stay with them.
I know the previous point said to leave them alone, but sometimes people want the opposite. If they're feeling unwanted and alone, then having you there supporting them does help. Don't assume they want space unless they tell you, because accidentally avoiding them or not talking to them will make them feel abandoned.
5. Offer other means of help!
Often, young people are more likely to tell their friends or siblings about their problems than their parents. Parents come with some sort of authority, and that is intimidating and scary to spill out your raw emotions to. Parents also come from an older generation, and are therefore less likely to sympathise and understand these problems. You are not their parents, you are their friend, and this means they will trust you more. Use this to make them feel like they aren't alone, and try to think rationally for them. A mind hindered by mental illness may not even realise it is ill, let alone seek help. If the situation is really bad, try to nudge the person towards finding professional help. This can be done without parents in absolute confidentiality and can be extremely useful, don't be afraid to ask for help!
6. Help them see the sunny side.
It may sound cheesy, but a good laugh always helps a bad mood. At first, let them get everything off their chest (if they want to), and tell them you understand and sympathise with their problems. Then you can take them out somewhere fun, or just stay in and do something together. The point is you do something nice with them, to help them feel a little better. It’s not to distract from the problem, or ignore it, more to help ease the pain and display the good parts of life. Plus, there’s nothing wrong with having a good time!
All in all, just try to be a good friend. Though you may not understand or comprehend what is going on in your friend’s head, you can still be there for them. You are their friend for a reason, after all.
And if you're struggling with mental health, stay strong. Turn to a friend or a sibling or a parent. And remember, more people love you than you think.
What do we say to the God of Death?
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