Almost1998: Safety in Dating: The Serious Stuff

As you might have noticed, it's valentines week on the blog! I am tasked with the burden of attempting to find the serious side of this celebration of love. As a whole, valentines day is a fun celebration of love and relationships, whether it be your partner or your best friend. This means that finding something serious to talk about (without ranting about commercialism) is a bit tricky.

So instead, I have decided to focus on being safe with relationships and dating. When your single, valentines day can seem like an exaggeration of your loneliness compared to everyone else's relationships. Therefore in the wake of the 14th of February a lot of people desperately search for dates, but you need to stay safe! So here's a list of tips for you.

Going out on the town to hook up:

Stay in groups! Strength in numbers in every sense of the word.
If your drink has been spiked the side effects will probably take effect within 15-30 minutes, but it could be several hours
Symptoms of drink spiking include lowered inhibitions, difficulty concentrating or speaking, loss of balance and finding it hard to move, visual problems (particularly blurred vision),, paranoia (a feeling of fear or distrust of others), hallucinations (seeing, hearing or touching things that aren't there) or having an "out of body" experience, nausea and vomiting or unconsciousness. Experiencing any of these means you should get to a safe place with someone you know and trust, just in case you pass out.
Don't accept drinks from anyone you don't know personally. If you do then go to the bar with them and take the drink from the bar staff themselves.
Try to avoid giving out personal information, you don't know who may overhear you.
Make plans for your journey home. Tell someone when you think you're going to get back by so they can keep an eye out for you.
If someone comes onto you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, call them out on it. I know this can be incredibly hard to do, but it is the most effective and fast way of getting them to back off.
Know the area you're in! If you're abroad or just in an unfamiliar parts of town, find a safe place you can go to if you feel unsafe.

Online safety:

Personal information safety! Most people on the internet aren't weird stalkers, but there are a few dodgy people out there that you would not want to give your home address to.
Skype calls are a good, safe way of checking if people are who they say they are. If you've been talking for a bit, offer a Skype call!
If you're sending nude photo's to someone, make sure you completely trust them. If they do get shared, people may blame you instead of the person who violated your privacy, so make sure you know they will keep them to themselves.
Another tip for nudes: If you have naked pictures of someone under the age of 18 on your personal device, that is child pornography and is a serious criminal offence. If your under sixteen, don't take or send nudes. If you're sixteen and up but still not an adult, snapchat is your friend (but screenshots are still a thing).

Safety in relationships (general):

Make sure you can recognise signs of abuse in any forms, you need to know if you should walk out.
If you fear your partner in any way, that is a red flag.
Talk to people about your relationship! They don't have to know everything, obviously, but they will be able to pick up on any changes or negative signs you might miss.
If you have a problem with your partner, talk to them. Communication is a massive part of a successful relationship and is key when sorting out arguments or tension.
Don't worry about how fast the relationship is going or if it's following the stereotypical movie-type plot. If you're both happy and comfortable, then the relationship will work itself out.

Safety in relationships (sexual):

Know your partner well. Their comfort zones are incredibly important and you should make sure they know yours too.
Trust your partner before you try to push any boundaries, and make sure they trust you.
Do not push or pressure them. At all.
Be safe! Whether with a long term partner or a one night stand, birth control is never a bad choice. Also make sure you have your own forms of contraception on you, just in case. (Plus other than pregnancy things like condoms stop STD's and STI's as well.)
This is gonna sound weird, but if you're putting anything in a place it's not supposed to go (i.e. but stuff): lube.
If you're doing some BDSM type stuff, know your safewords. Also aftercare is perhaps more important than the sex itself. Always keep it safe, sane and consensual.