Meeting new people may not be something that happens often to me, but when it does, I panic. Not because of things like my name or the way I look, but because it’s stupidly hard to subtly slip into conversation “no, I am not straight”.
This is why it frustrates me when people get annoyed at me for ‘making everything gay’. I don’t make everything gay, I’m just trying to show you that not everything’s straight, because it makes it really hard for me when people think it is.
It’s not like they do it on purpose, it’s a subconscious assumption that is ingrained in all of us, and that makes it pretty hard to unlearn. It’s the same idea that a robber is male, or a sex worker is female.
Essentially, my thought is that people do this because all they know is straight, or gay. Growing up I only knew about homosexuality because of gay family friends we have, my parents didn’t hide me from it, but I wasn’t exposed to it either.
Unfortunately, this meant that when I started getting feelings for both boys and girls, it was terrifying. I ignored it for about two years before I actually started thinking about bisexuality and what it was. Even then I discounted it, because all I knew about bisexuality was it was done by pretty girls who wanted attention, and even then it only lasted for a couple of years.
It took me a while, but eventually I accepted myself as bisexual, and then pansexual when I learned that there was more than just two genders. And all of it would have been so much easier if I had just known that not being ‘normal’ didn’t mean that I was broken, or wrong.
What I’m trying to say is that people need to know more than just boys or girls. There is so much more to sexuality and gender than the binary, and if we can start teaching this to young people, maybe they wont be so god damn terrified when they aren’t what society shows us to be the 'norm'.
So for my first post, I’m going to run over a list of sexualities and what they mean. All of these are normal and, most importantly, real. If you’re reading this and thinking ‘nah that can’t be a thing’, please try telling that to the hundreds of people who experience it, and watch as the either beat you up, or beat up themselves.
The important stuff is in italics.
LGBAT+: The Not Straight / Cis Community
L - Lesbian
This one should be pretty standard. A woman who likes women. A homosexual woman. Please be aware that if a trans women is a lesbian, that doesn’t make her any less of a woman.
G - Gay
Again, an easy one. A man who likes men. A homosexual man. The same point above about trans women applies to trans men too.
 |
| Homosexual Pride Flag |
B - Bisexual
Bisexual is where someone is attracted two genders. Though this can be any two genders, it’s usually male or female. Pansexual also falls under the B in LGBAT+, this is where someone is attracted to all genders. Do not tell these people that they are greedy, experimenting or that it’s just a crush/phase. They will either kick your teeth in or cry, in both situations you are an asshole.
 |
| Bisexual Pride Flag |
 |
| Pansexual Pride Flag |
A - Asexual / Aromantic
Even though these ones may have the simplest concepts, they seem to be the hardest for people to comprehend. An asexual feels no sexual attraction to anybody. An aromantic feels no romantic attraction to anybody.
Yes this means sexual attraction and romantic attraction are different things. You may wanna kiss a boy but cuddle with a girl. Usually both attractions are the same, but they may different, more on that in a later post.
Demisexual also falls under the A category. Demisexuals do not feel attraction most people, but do to a chosen few. This may be one or more people, but the attraction usually comes after being in a relationship / knowing them for a while first.
Do not tell these people that they haven’t found the right person or that they shouldn’t knock what they haven’t tried, they probably know themselves better than you.
 |
| Asexual Pride Flag |
T - Transgender
This one isn’t a sexuality, but it’s in LGBAT+ so I’ll cover it anyway. Transgender is where your gender is different to the sex you were born as. For those who are wondering about the difference between sex and gender: sex is your physical body, gender is who you are inside.
Trans people don’t have to just be male or female, they can be any gender. This also means that their pronouns may not be he/him or she/her. If they are not male or female, it’s best to ask for their pronouns, but it’s probably they/them. Correct pronouns are not something that only ‘nice’ trans people deserve, they are a basic human right.
If you’re still confused, don’t worry. Gender is a big topic and I’ll definitely be covering it more in later posts.
Also if you’re wondering, the word for when your gender is the same as the sex you were born with is cisgender (cis for short).
 |
| Transgender Pride Flag |
The plus part of LGBAT+ is for anyone who doesn’t fall into the binary of straight / male or female and who hasn’t already been mentioned above.
All in all, sexuality and gender is a pretty massive topic and I will cover it more in the future, but the point of this post is to keep your mind open.
You're all beautiful humans!
No comments:
Post a Comment