Looking after yourself in bad times

Hello strangers!

I apologise for how unacceptably and rediculously long it has been since I last posted. Shoot me down, I'm a terrible human being. I'll spare you the details but things haven't been easy for me recently and I'm going through a rough patch. You know when all the little things add up and explode and everything is crap for a while? Yeah, that's what's happening in my life right now. I usually have some form of escape. Writing, reading, blogging, beauty. But recently I've lacked both the courage and motivation to do anything. I don't want to leave the house, don't want to talk about things because I'm not sure what to say and my self-esteem is non-existent. I know I will be fine, but everything takes time. I'm not looking for any sympathy, in fact I'd rather give advice from the comfort of my bed.

How to look after yourself when you're feeling everything a little too much:

Don't feel bad for having feelings -

The difficult thing, for anyone, when they're struggling is to accept it. I am (as everyone who knows me will strongly agree) a very emotional person. I am sensitive and think irrationally, but that's okay. You're allowed to be angry and upset and lost. It's all part of the process of picking yourself back up and trying again. ('That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.')

Surround yourself with the people who care -

One of the most important things on the road to feeling better, is to feel supported. You don't have to talk to thousands of people about your problems. Some people are just out for the story and don't have good motives for listening to you. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about your feelings. Talk to people you trust. My friends all help me in different ways. I have friends I call at 1am and all they hear is sniffling and sobbing. I have friends who analyse the situation completely and tell me the logical route to take. I ahve friends who are straight forward with advice because they've been there before. I have friends who make me feel important, beautiful and strong. I have friends who take me for coffee, buy me chocolate, write me cards. I have friends who send long paragraphs and others who send small texts. I have friends who make me laugh to make things better. Thank you to all of you. No matter how you are supported, make sure it's real. Make sure it's people who want the best for you and shut out the rest.

Take time -

Don't rush anything. If you're not ready then that's okay. If you need to be alone for a while do it. If you don't have the power to talk to someone then wait for it. Rushing things makes it messy. You need time to calm down and adjust.

Try something new -

It sounds completely lame. Trust me, I'm not the super clever type, I'm a pretty average student academically. However, over the past few weeks I have fallen head over heels in love with poetry. It's actually beautiful and helps me to deal with my feelings a lot more when it's not about historical topics or shoved in my face in English class. Finding something new you can get involved in can really bring you back to life and give you a little direction again. (Oh and I'm also binging 'Pretty Little Liars' too although I'm not sure if that's a good thing).

Understand what your body wants -

When I get stressed and am going through a rough patch, I forget to look after myself. I break out badly (binge eating and stress), put on weight and forget the basics. Make sure you eat properly and regularly. If you take medication, don't skip it. Keep good hygiene, look after your skin, get enough sleep and water. Your body doesn't have to suffer just because your mind is.

Pamper yourself -

(The only slightly beauty related part of the post, oops.) Relax. Have a bath with a LUSH bath bomb, light some candles, paint your nails, put on lipstick, use a face mask, shave your legs, moisturise. Anything that will make you feel prettier and instantly better.

Treat yourself -

Go on, you deserve it. If it's that pretty dress you've had in your online basket for months, an extra square of chocolate or a night out with the girls, it's gonna make you feel better and you need to start feeling better at some point.

Don't give up -

I'm starting to sound like a nagging Mum who lectures their child and makes them cringe but you can't just give up. Nothing is perfect first time. Everything takes experience, confidence and you have to keep going. Don't accept failure for something you really want.

GET BACK UP -

After all the silly crying and the sad music and emptiness, you will find the strength. It could be days, weeks, months but you're going to be just fine. You aren't alone. You aren't weak for feeling. You aren't a bad person. Go tell the people you love you love them right now, thank them for the help and get back up. You'll stumble and crash a few times on the way but that's natural. In the end, you'll be okay. And okay is wonderful. 

Bringing it back: Summer Fashion

Let's go Boho!

2005 was the highest point of the Bohemian style. Kate Moss being the instigator with it being the year of the height of her fame.

Last year the most popular summer trend was the kimono, worn as a casual, light cover for the arms and shoulders but still holding that effortless style. This was the point of the great comeback of the Boho Chicks.

This year Kendall Jenner and Vanessa Hudgens are but two examples of the most fashion inspiring women flaunting the look.

 The key aspects that can make it easy for it to find its way into your wardrobes:

• Obviously, bright, eye grabbing colours. This could be done by contrasting colours and tones, or even complementary colours with one piece as the main feature of colour.
• Bold, geometric patterns, Aztec patterns
• Drape, using the natural fall of the fabric to accentuate the bodily curves.
• Natural fibres, light weight natural fabrics. For example cotton, linen.
• Chunky jewellery. Beads, bangles, chains and pendants.

And my personal favourite, the Harem Trousers:

So, Boho is back. Which era of fashion will be next? The 1920s shift dresses? Curvaceous 1940s? 1970s Punk? Disco?

Next week I will do a tutorial either on tie dying, bleach painting using a tie dye method or silk steaming to link into the Boho summer ahead. 

Till next Monday.

The Round Up: Women's World Cup

The Women's World Cup got under way on Saturday 6th June when the host nation Canada took on China in Edmonton. This year, the competition will feature 24 teams for the first time, for many this being their first major tournament as a women's side including Ivory Coast, Thailand and surprisingly Spain also. 

After a 90 minute battle between the host side and China, including China's Gu Yasha curling a free-kick against both posts and Josee Belanger hitting a drive for Canada which rattled back off the bar. It took an injury time penalty in which Canada's golden girl Christine Sinclair, who's scored 154 goals in 224 international games, to cause riot in the home crowd of a record breaking 53,000 with a coolly taken shot which sends Canada to the top of their group. 

Other scores include New Zealands defeat against the Netherlands on the opening day's other match with a curling strike by Lieke Martens from outside the area in the 33rd minute. Group B's results include a 4-0 victory for Norway against Thailand, leading with 3 goals before the half time whistle. Favorites Germany dominated against Ivory Coast with a 10-0 win with Celia Sasic scoring a hat-trick within the first 45 minutes, Germany only fell short by one goal of matching the record they set with an 11-0 win over Argentina in 2007. However, Ivory Coast's goalkeeper Dominique Thiamale showed some true talent and the side have her to thank for preventing a complete annihilation.

England will be starting their World Cup campaign on Tuesday against another favorite France who knocked out England at the quarter-final stage four years ago. The lionesses have never won a knockout fixture but new head coach Mark Sampson, taking charge for his first major tournament, has a great chance to change that record. Hopes are high for the side ranked sixth in the world to dominate after a 100% qualifying record and supporters hope for a long World Cup campaign for England ahead. 

Asexuality: The Serious Stuff

Out of all the sexualities, the one that seems to be the hardest to understand is asexual. In scientific terms, asexual beings are life forms that are able to reproduce with themselves, examples of this are plants, fungi and some forms of fish. However when referring to sexual orientation, the word takes up a new meaning.

In the LGBTQ community asexuality is a more of an umbrella term. Yes there are certainly people who identify as asexual, those without any sort of sexual attraction, though there are many different types.

There are variations of asexuality, in a spectrum. There is:

demisexual, - only feel sexual attraction after they've formed a strong emotional bond with someone

grey-asexual - very rarely experience sexual attraction though it still happens sometimes. An asexual can fall anywhere on the spectrum

lithsexual - feel sexual attraction towards others but do not want it reciprocated or lose interest when it is

cupiosexual - never or very rarely desires a relationship, even if attraction is felt

quoi-sexual - cannot differentiate between types of attraction (see below)

aro/ace-flux - fluctuates along the spectrum daily

Though it is important to note that sexual attraction isn't the only type, there are many reasons you may be attracted to someone.

platonic - the desire for friendship with a certain individual, also called a squish

aesthetic - finding someone's appearance attractive or pleasing to the eye, this type can occur on it’s own or with other attractions

romantic - desire for a romantic (but not sexual) relationship with someone, often coupled with sensual and/or sexual attraction

sensual - desire for sensual contact (hugging, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, etc) with someone, often coupled with romantic and/or sexual attraction

Asexual is not to be confused with aromantic, which is lack of romantic attraction. Aromantic is a type of romantic orientation, the romantic versions of sexualities. Similarly, there is also demiromantic, grey-aromantic, etc. 

The lack of sexual attraction doesn't mean that asexuals won’t engage in sexual activities. Yes, there are some asexuals that are completely repulsed by the idea of sex, but many aren't. Though their relationships are not built on sexual attraction, they will still have sex or other activities for their partner's sake. Also they may like having sex, cause it feels good, they just don’t base attraction on it.

A lot of the acephobia and general misconceptions asexuals have to put up with come from the media. So much of what we see is based around love or sex, focusing on the ideas that life without these things is worthless and sad, when for asexuals it is preferred. This means that a lot of asexuals who don't know who/what they are think that they are broken or that something is wrong with them. 

The TV show ‘Sirens’, which follows a team of Chicago EMTs, is one of the only shows I've seen that has an asexual character. It’s a big leap in asexual representation and I love it.

Asexuality is perfectly natural, and not feeling that sort of attraction is not wrong. Sex and relationships are pushed as such an imperative thing to life, especially when you're a teenager, but this simply isn't true. Relationships can be formed and sustained just as strongly without those desires, and the lack of sex does not invalidate them. Asexuality is completely valid, you are not broken. 

Sources:

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Gray-A_/_Grey-A

http://ace-with-grace.tumblr.com/post/64865371105/i-made-a-powerpoint-on-asexuality-as-ive-seen

Caitlyn Jenner

Hello all, I am currently on holiday in Crete but I have an interesting post this week on recent celeb news!

4 days ago the world was introduced to Caitlyn Jenner. A women the world has eagerly anticipated to meet since Bruce Jenner announced on an interview with Diane Sawyer that he has suffered with gender identity issues all his life. Although  Bruce has not undergone a full gender confirmation surgery he has had cosmetic surgery as part of the transition. 

Recently Jenner debuted his new name as Caitlyn and showed her appearance in her first photo shoot for Vanity Fair.  It is certain that she has made an impact with the name trending top worldwide on Twitter and encouraging people with the same issue that it is okay to be different. She is a huge inspiration to everyone and the process of his transition will be part of a documentary that will premiere in July.

Other exciting news for the Kardashian family came this week as Kim and Kanye announced that Kim was pregnant again and they would be expecting to welcome their second child in  December! Who knows what the name will be? Possibly South?

AMAZING BROWNIES- Baking

BROWNIES!

Welcome back to baking on Almost1998! I'm sorry its been a while, but now that exams have finished I have had more time to bake yay!

This week I made brownies which have got to be my favourite unhealthy snack to eat because they are so heavenly.

 

INGREDIENTS:

• 185g butter
• 185g chocolate (dark is best)
• 85g flour
• 40g cocoa powder
• 100g chocolate chips/chunks
• 50g marshmallows (optional)
• 50g chopped cashew nuts (optional)
• 3 eggs
• 275g caster sugar

 

MEHTOD:

• Preheat the oven to 180'c
• Firstly, in a saucepan, heat 185g of butter and chocolate together until it is all melted. To make sure that the chocolate doesn't burn as is melts quicker than the butter, chop the butter up into cubes.

In a separate bowl add in the caster sugar and 3 eggs. With an electric whisk, mix these together for around 3 minutes so that the mixture has almost doubled in size and it looks like vanilla milkshake.

 

• 
• Then add the chocolate and butter mixture when it is slightly cooler as you do not want it to cook the eggs and have lumps in your mixture.

  
• Then you can whisk it all together until it is all combined

• Now you can add the chocolate chunks and the optional nuts and marshmallows. Fold these ingredients in with a spoon or a spatula if you have one.

• Now sift together the flour and cocoa powder in a separate bowl and then lightly fold that into the brownie mixture.

• Now pop that into a baking tray and then it can go into the oven for 25 minutes.
• When it is done it may still have a wobble in the middle of the brownie. This means that your brownies will have a squidgy centre but if you do not like this then put them back in the oven for another 5 minutes.

 

 

Hope you enjoyed this post! I forgot to take a picture of the end product and when I remembered everyone had already eaten them!

See you next week!

 

 

 

Women in FIFA 16: Life, Advice and Rants

In May, news came about of the FIFA president Sepp Blatter stepping down from his position following the fraud and money laundering scandal which resulted in arrests of FIFA officials and FIFA committee members. But what was also revealed during these troubled times for the football association is that 12 international women teams have been introduced to the highly successful game franchise FIFA 16. The trailer announcing the news was released on the EA Sports FIFA youtube channel on the 28th May 2015.

Until now only men's teams have featured on one of the most popular EA sports games, which was first released back in 1993. Sadly this long time over due revelation for women's football came with some backlash. There where plenty of comments and tweets signaling their outrage of the idea of expanding the beloved game to an increasingly significant area of the sport. Reading some of these tweets and comments made me surprisingly upset, thinking why am I crying over tweets not directed at me personally.

I was upset with these angry entitled teenage boys who were spewing misogynistic nonsense about the sport I have been apart of for 11 years of my life. They degraded women's football, considering it to be less than men's football. The common sexist, unfunny jokes such as:

Women's football has battled through so many prejudices and misconceptions to get the amount of acceptance it has achieved. Seeing these comments makes it seem that it is taking a step back but if the rest of the women's footballing community feels the same as myself, we will power on through. The Football Association in 1921 introduced a ban which disallowed women's football games from grounds which wasn't removed until July 1971. In 2004, former president Sepp Blatter suggested that women footballers should 'wear tighter shorts and low cut shirts...to create a more female aesthetic and attract more male fans.' All of these attempts to discredit and remove women's football has only increased it further, the England Women vs Germany Women friendly match at Wembley was watched by a record 45,000+ fans in the first female matched played at the famous ground. 

To believe that football is a 'mans game' is in itself, ignorant. Millions of girls and women lace up their boots and take part in the beautiful game, including myself and Round Up blogger Shannon. The over reaction to something that should of happened years ago is, in my opinion, pathetic as women's football should be recognised equally to mens. Comments saying 'why would they put women in FIFA 16 when 95% of players are boys? It makes no sense' are just incorrect. Since FIFA was launched in 1993 the number of registered female players has had a 54% increase from 2000, to a total of 4.1 million players. Just because there are less professional opportunities for women, doesn't mean we don't play football or FIFA.

So for some, women in FIFA 16 is affecting their masculinity which to be honest, isn't really a big part if they are whining about the inclusion. Many need to come out of the sexist stigma of football and realise that women are a ever growing part of the game. After years of success, lets celebrate another one because finally we are in the game!